I am blessed with really vivid dreams. I have them almost every night, and I can usually remember most, if not all, of what transpired. Sometimes the dreams are pretty mundane, but a lot of the time they’re very entertaining. It’s like watching a movie while I sleep! I wake up laughing or puzzled and then wonder if I could get a short story out of it or something but ain’t nobody got time for that.

Despite how vivid they are, I’ve never really had a true nightmare. Some of these dreams are very scary and feel very real, but I can tell they’re not somehow, so I don’t wake up frightened or in a sweat or anything like that. I usually just wake up pissed that my brain is being a jerk. Some dreams do stick with me and I dwell on them over the course of a few days, but those almost exclusively involve someone I know dying in a realistic way and I have to check on them when I wake up.

But I digress. My point is that sometimes this “skill” results in a weird dream marathon phenomenon. In one night, I wake up every 60 – 90 minutes from a dream just long enough to remember what it was and realise what’s happening, then fall back to sleep and start another dream. Eventually there are no more new dreams and the dreams I’ve already had start to combine with each other until I wake up in the morning after a huge conglomerate dream, completely unable to remember the original dreams from which it stemmed. It makes for the weirdest, most convoluted combinations and it’s very entertaining.

As you can probably guess, this happened last night. This morning I awoke from a dream where the beau and I were at a Disney store trying to find a rogue shipment of pornographic Legos with Pamela Anderson on them but we got stuck talking to the accountant who had questions about our taxes until the ghosts trying to protect their investments caught up with us and chased us into an indoor outdoors, which made us wonder if people really lived there or if we were on a studio backlot, before we all got into different cars and started a road race in space that we didn’t win but it was a performance we were quite proud of.

Yeah.

I often question whether I’m actually sane or merely think I am and everything that happens to me is really just a projection of my imagination that will eventually condense down into a single, brief burst of information before disappearing into a void of nothingness.

Probably the first thing.